i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
