I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
