My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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