I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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