So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
