Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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