I just saw a hot homeless man
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
