i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do you remember whose house we're in?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
