You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
