I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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