just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
