I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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