Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
