I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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