I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
