i think my tv is drunk
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
