did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
