glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What drink are we having for lunch?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
