She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
