My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
