So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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