Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
