Are we in a gay sports bar?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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