I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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