dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
