i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
