I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
