She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
