Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
