Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
