I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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