he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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