yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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