is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
