u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
