she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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