I feel great
I just peed on a car
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
