'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
