Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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