i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
