It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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