He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just had sex on a roof
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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