And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
