Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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