STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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