Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
