hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
No stitches, just platelets and will power
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
