i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
