It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This is my gift to your gina
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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