he puts the penis in happiness.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
