So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
