brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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